the path to non-binary CX nats
by Hen (Henrietta) watts
“I have often dreamed of winning a jersey of some kind, ever since I started paying more attention to pro cycling five or six years ago. [The state champs] race became my chance.”
October 29th was much like any other race day this season: far from home (Bellingham), mostly dry, and for the second season I was lining up for a trans and non-binary inclusive race.
What was different however was this was the first ever Washington State cyclocross championship race for our category—non-binary! I have often dreamed of winning a jersey of some kind, ever since I started paying more attention to pro cycling five or six years ago. That race became my chance.
The days before had been spent getting the bike prepped, new wheels, new tires, making sure the saddle was in just the right spot. The weeks before had been spent making sure that I was ready, every ride and every race trying to get a little faster, take corners a little tighter, punching a little farther up the steep climbs that help make cross what it is.
I lined up with Seth, my competitor and dear teammate for our championship race alongside the women’s cat 3 and 4 racers. The organizer counted us down and we were off!
I was clipped in within a pedal stroke of the word go and had grabbed the holeshot. Through the twists and turns of the opening part of the course I was holding maybe 4 or 5 bike lengths on the chasing group and came into the run up with them in hot pursuit.
“The speakers at the top of the run up were blasting Master of Puppets, which helped me put down even more energy up the hill.”
The speakers at the top of the run up were blasting Master of Puppets, which helped me put down even more energy up the hill.
When I had crested and pedaled up the false flat (which was placed rather cruelly at the top of the run up), my gap had grown to something closer to 20 seconds.
I spent the rest of the race off the front, stringing together what felt like my cleanest race up to that point in the season. I had none of the flats that had plagued me my last two races, no slips, and it felt like a perfect race. That last lap was so sweet.
“I spent the rest of the race off the front, stringing together what felt like my cleanest race up to that point in the season. it felt like a perfect race. That last lap was so sweet.”
Winning is fun, but this was more than that.
I had accepted my queerness a few years ago, and especially as I thought more and more seriously about beginning a medical transition, I started to feel increasingly out of place in competitive cycling.
I had always had support and a safe and friendly place to race, but within a structure that was regularly without an express place for me and others who fit outside the gender binary.
Winning the first ever Non-Binary Washington State Championship race was a crowning moment in a cross season that has been filled with so many incredible moments.
In April of this year I started HRT.
In August I applied to join Breakfast Racing Team, which has since become so important to me. In September I started the first season where I would be participating in nothing but races that had a gender expansive option.
To come home with the first state championship jersey for a Trans/Non Binary category was extremely validating. This season, this year, and on this team I feel more myself and I feel more seen for who I am than ever!
Now that the dust has settled on that race I’m looking towards National Champs. This is the first time I’ve ever flown out for a race, and going to Hartford, Connecticut will be by far the furthest I’ve gone for one.
However, it feels important to go and to show up for our burgeoning category. I’m under no illusion that I’ll be able to take a title in the way I did the State Championship, but this opportunity has made me more motivated than ever to get my bike (and myself) as FAST as possible.
To that end, I’m eschewing some parts of my bike set up that have become iconic.
I’ve ditched the super wide flat bars I love in favor of some 38c compact drops. I've put a 1x11 set up on a bike that didn’t even have a derailleur hanger on it when I first got it. I’ve been riding more, and making sure to eat enough. Having had States to look forward to and now having Nationals has really invigorated my love for competition.
No matter how I place at Nationals, just having a race at that level that acknowledges that there are people who exist outside the binary and makes an express place for us in our sport is a win. It feels like an important step in making this sport we love more inclusive both in words and in action. This is by no means the end of our work; trans people who want to race in a gendered category should not have their medical history interrogated or their bodies policed. Trans kids in the US are under attack right now, especially through the medium of sport—so it feels especially important to participate in an event that welcomes us with open arms. We all deserve to have a place in sport that feels safe and validating, and a support network to help us achieve our goals.
I’m so happy to be going to Nationals, and to be doing so in a Breakfast Racing Team skinsuit.
Photos by:
Steve Everist https://www.instagram.com/steveverist/
Mark Uzii https://www.instagram.com/markuzii/
Woodinville Bicycle https://www.instagram.com/woodinvillebicycle/
Dustin Riggs https://www.instagram.com/dustroyer/
Tory Hernandez https://www.instagram.com/evrgrnphoto/
Hung Q. Mai https://www.instagram.com/hungmaiphotography/
